Next Chapter

I know that you have been struggling here and there but I don't think I would wait any longer until then-- if we are bound to be together, it will be... 

You are my beautiful accident, my beautiful memories... xA

Nonchalance of You

I'm home and feeling…. lonely. 

I pretend everything is okay when you are gone. But I just couldn't continue avoiding the phone calls that chased us away I bent down and planted a kiss, the words inadvertently slipped out and I let slide an admission of my feelings. So I try to cover it up with feigned nonchalance and rehearsed finesse, but I do believe I meant it. I did. 

There is a fact that people tends to let their feelings out while at night. 

This is why I hate when I hear you said: "you will find someone else. you'll find others." Yes, fine, I know this, it's life but it's not this that upsets or annoys me. I'm not looking for anyone. We were a

beautiful accident--it wasn't on purpose. That's all. We can't replace accidents just like that. Yes, I will one day find another but that doesn't mean that they will replace you because for me, everyone has his individual value.

And here's where I become a confused emotional wreck.

I miss you...

I miss your voice, to breathe in your warm scent and to feel your fingers run through my hair.

I miss the feeling I get when I am with you. 

I miss you so much that it hurts. But do you know what the worst part is? 

The fact that you don't seem to miss me at all but her...  xA

Never Regret!

I think, I think when it's all over it just comes back in flashes you know

It's like a kaleidoscope of memories, but it just all comes back.

But she never does.

I think part of me knew the second I saw her that this would happen

It's not really anything she said or anything she did

It was the feeling that came along with it

And crazy thing is I don't know if I'm ever going to feel that way again.

But I don't know if I should. 

I knew her world moved too fast and burned too bright, but I just thought,

How could the devil be pulling me towards someone who looks so much like and angel when she smiles at you?

Maybe she knew that when she saw me.

I guess I just lost my balance.

I think that the worst part of it all wasn't losing her, it was losing me.

I don't know if you know who you are until you lose who you are. xxA

It doesn't matter...

Had a weirdest dream today and make me have some deep thoughts. Is kinda a screwed up situation but.... *shrug

Bottom line, I realized that sometimes love means taking a step back. I think if you care about somebody, you should want them to be HAPPY even if you wind up being LEFT OUT.

Even though I gonna admit that the pain is excruciating but still time will heal who you are. xxA

Silent Night

Silent night, broken night
All is fallen when you take your flight
I found some hate for you
Just for show
You found some love for me
Thinking I'd go
Don't keep me from crying to sleep
Sleep in heavenly peace

Silent night, moonlit night
Nothing's changed
Nothing is right
I should be stronger than weeping alone
You should be weaker than sending me home
I can't stop you fighting to sleep
Sleep in heavenly peace 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESIjkGxMllo

xA

Chance or Choice?!

"So the egg is once again cracked again, so let's make sure we make some great omelette out of it!" 

Well everything just happened so fast, just a snap; everything just crashed and burned.

I think, I think when it's all over it just comes back in flashes you know.

I think what I am to you is not real. You told me that you loved me but you loved her more.

What I am to you, you do not need.

What I am to you is not what you mean to me.

Oh well, what the hell this is noting new just different stories and same endings again.

Just another phase of finding what I really need but still part of me still bleed.

I remember it well the first time that I saw you, your head around the door caused my mind stopped working and mesmerized by you.

I remember December and I wanna hear what you have to say about me, hear if you're gonna live without me, I wanna hear what you want...

Ironically still a little bit of your taste in your mouth,

still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed,

still a little bit of your sweet words I longed to hear,

still a little hard to say what's going on,

still a little bit of your ghost still haunting me....

Honestly I still can't take my mind off you, my mind....

Till I find somebody new and it will become a memory again.

Thank you for all the sweet times, surprises, efforts, pampers, protections, supports, shoulder to cry on.

You have been good to me and we have to go our own way now and even though it sucks but sometimes a goodbye can be a good thing wanted a chance to start again. xxA

Gone

So is been so long that I finally let down this heart and totally have a clean slate of everything with you. 

Somehow I do not why, part of me still missing you sometimes but is better still that we lead our own way, as a strangers again. 

That would be the best of everything and this song ends with it. xA