Nonchalance of You

I'm home and feeling…. lonely. 

I pretend everything is okay when you are gone. But I just couldn't continue avoiding the phone calls that chased us away I bent down and planted a kiss, the words inadvertently slipped out and I let slide an admission of my feelings. So I try to cover it up with feigned nonchalance and rehearsed finesse, but I do believe I meant it. I did. 

There is a fact that people tends to let their feelings out while at night. 

This is why I hate when I hear you said: "you will find someone else. you'll find others." Yes, fine, I know this, it's life but it's not this that upsets or annoys me. I'm not looking for anyone. We were a

beautiful accident--it wasn't on purpose. That's all. We can't replace accidents just like that. Yes, I will one day find another but that doesn't mean that they will replace you because for me, everyone has his individual value.

And here's where I become a confused emotional wreck.

I miss you...

I miss your voice, to breathe in your warm scent and to feel your fingers run through my hair.

I miss the feeling I get when I am with you. 

I miss you so much that it hurts. But do you know what the worst part is? 

The fact that you don't seem to miss me at all but her...  xA

Never Regret!

I think, I think when it's all over it just comes back in flashes you know

It's like a kaleidoscope of memories, but it just all comes back.

But she never does.

I think part of me knew the second I saw her that this would happen

It's not really anything she said or anything she did

It was the feeling that came along with it

And crazy thing is I don't know if I'm ever going to feel that way again.

But I don't know if I should. 

I knew her world moved too fast and burned too bright, but I just thought,

How could the devil be pulling me towards someone who looks so much like and angel when she smiles at you?

Maybe she knew that when she saw me.

I guess I just lost my balance.

I think that the worst part of it all wasn't losing her, it was losing me.

I don't know if you know who you are until you lose who you are. xxA

It doesn't matter...

Had a weirdest dream today and make me have some deep thoughts. Is kinda a screwed up situation but.... *shrug

Bottom line, I realized that sometimes love means taking a step back. I think if you care about somebody, you should want them to be HAPPY even if you wind up being LEFT OUT.

Even though I gonna admit that the pain is excruciating but still time will heal who you are. xxA