Thou should not Give Up!

This is a song for me, first I know what I get myself into by falling in love with a player and I know heart wrecked gonna happened anytime yet I still fall heads over heels for that person.

Though that I could make you change for me but I tried and it doesn't work how I planned to be.

Sometimes, I really do hate when people ask me what happened to the sweet old you? 

Well, bitches like you killed it... xA

Joy of Tear

Whoever starts a chaos ends with a chaos.

I had learnt a lot since this unforgettable heartbreak.

No matter how broken my heart may be, I will get through it and there is love, hope and happiness on the other side.

I hope you can see through me how hard is it for me to get over you even though you said I'm always emo-ing in front of you.

But the fact is... really hard and I'm pushing myself to the edge. xA

Grateful

They said stop chasing people. If they REALLY wanna be in your life, they'll still be there once you stop running after them.

And I' tired of running and everything else in life, just so tired.

Therefore, I learned on that a liar can only outrun their lies for so long. Eventually the sheep's clothing falls off & reveals the wolf underneath.

What I can say is thank you for all the sweet memories that you have been given to me and also those painful scar you put me through. You just never once listen to me and now I can see you are happy with her without my existence anymore BUT for me it will never gonna be the same.

In the end the day you left was just my beginning.

The tears that I shed for you, it means that I was once truly in love with you until you break it into million pieces. Those tears are just precious and I can see that I could actually love someone so deep.... :') *sniff xA

Get out or Stay out?

Well, why am I crying? Is not worth it anymore.

I try to sit down and think deeply and realize the pain is just too much to bear.

I'm no longer your priority so what's the point of me shedding tears for someone who would never really gives a fuck about me anymore?

Happiness, you seems to be so far for me to catch it now. At least you are happy now but I'm still in misery and that sucks a lot.

Well, walking away from someone who treats you bad is only half the battle. You've gotta STAY GONE. So can I stay away? xA

Scar

I have to start waking up now!!!

Obviously, I have been REPLACED...

Nuff said now.

 :'(   xA

Death but Breathing

I can totally relate to this song lyrics after all. 

You broke up with me because you fell for another girl, here am I playing this song for you and I hope that you know how much pain I felt when I lost you. You promise me lots of thing to me and there is when I see a future with you, but I guess forever came a little too early. 

When I'm down and sad you were away with that girl, even though you know how much I don't like the idea that you hanging out with her when we were together. 

Now I can see the only colour for me to you is just black and white world, I wish I could be with you once more but still I wouldn't want the heartbreak for once again and the insecurity that I been through. :'( 

You made me unbeautiful.... 

xA

So me!

Well, the video is totally how I felt. You always grab your phone around and message non-stop when you are with me. Yet I do nothing to stop it...

Now you are with the other girl while I'm still left alone.

Reality struck! xA

Worst Nightmare

Nothing could completes me anymore.

I was once so important in your life; you always put me in your priority list but now??? Well after you got another girl on your side, I'm just not as important as your new girl anymore.

Is sad to know that I was once with you on your side to comfort you, laugh with you, makes you happy, holding your hands, hugging you to sleep, taking care of you when you are ill but...that went too fast. Too fast that you got bored of the present and start seeking for others outside your comfort zone.

Was torned apart till now. I don't know how do I feel anymore, is just that more hurt, pain, torture, heartbreak adding into my life if this agony of reality won't stop. I can see myself been replaced and the love was once with you is just clearly dead now, just dead and nothing of me left inside of you.

Could I still hold on for long?
The truth is, I don't even know as well and they said exes would never gonna be friends and I'm still contemplating with this yet again.

Crush me once and now another wave coming in still, I don't know how long can I take. Maybe is just a sign that you want me off for good so that adding more salt on my wounded heart would make sure I get what you are trying to tell me. Well you know what? It is working though...

My friends are disappointed on me so as myself. So when can I finally break free and see a bright sky again?

Leave and start fresh? OR Stay and still suffering all this agony that you might not gonna see it deep inside my heart that I'm pretty much still not over you.

xA

Fix Me

Honest speaking, I do not know how to love again.
Once bitten, twice shy
I would say I'm actually scare to feel hurt and those fucking heartache that been torturing me till now and again.

When would this end?
Maybe I would start comparing others people to my ex that used to hurt me the most
You are the best and the worst I ever had.

Every now and then when I go out dating, I set my standard so high that they must have some qualities that my ex obtained but is just hard to find someone to replace unless I really end this myself.

Maybe is just me being selfish, can't let my past go and now it is haunting me back.

I felt myself a little piece here and there and is wearing me out soon. xA

Bollix

Well I guess this is not really what I want...

I have to free myself, free my mind and stay single for sometime.

I don't need any flings around me, I don't wanna send the wrong signals and signs.
Is true I'm really lonely now and that's why I'm taking advantage of people who is there for me and I don't wanna break them in the end because I'm still stuck :(

I don't think I can control myself from all this lifestyle that I'm having. I'm just not me, I'm tired of putting up this facade when deep inside I'm just as broken as those glass been shatter on the floor which never could ever been replaced.

Most of all, I need to be alone for sometime but loneliness really scares me so I'm a fucking mess up right now.

Out and over. xA

Why?

When you needs someone by your side, I'm always there for you.
Believing every word you say and even though I know you lied to me, I choose to believe it.

But when I need someone, who is there for me?
You would just say that you will be there but never once!
Even once, you are just so quick into leaving...

Well, I'm not the one you'll sweep off the feet.
You always came around gave me false hope and then let me down.

 xA

Have Faith

 

Every days will never gonna be the same,
It's even hard mentioning your name
Looking back I don't know what went wrong
But suddenly it's like I don't belong

So how long must I wait?
And how long must I stay?
Please let me know how to live.
Cause I don't ever wanna feel this way
Again. ..

Nothing seems to matter anymore
Why can't it be just like it was before?
I hate you for the person I've become
Take me back to where it all begun

Let me know, how to live
Let me know

xA

Speechless

One of my friend dedicated this song to me and I don't know how am I suppose to react... 

On the bright side, the lyrics are simply beautiful :) xA

Take Care

Silent felt so loud...

During day time, I try to focus more on work but I really hate at night because I will start thinking lots of shit when miss those moment when we were together.

What can I do? Loneliness sets in and it hurts :/ xA

Every now and then I fall apart

Once upon a time, I was falling in love but now I'm only falling apart. 

The past is the past.

I've accept the fact that it can't be changed and it is even better to see what kind of person they are. 

No matter how much it hurts me, all I can do is move on with life. 

So, for the people who walked out on me. 

Thank you. 

You had made me stronger.... xA

Love, Lust, LIES

All this while I had been fed with lies, and now I find it difficult to trust and believe a person anymore.

They said the truth hurts but lies worst!!!

Touch the flames and I got burned, lesson learnt and hard to reason.

xA

Right Path

A wise friend told me, stop apologizing because you did nothing wrong....

Is your partner who left you for another person and change their heart and is clear that temptation had lure them away but you on the other hand still stay faithful for your partner. It is the bravest thing you ever achieve.

For those who felt for temptation, you can see it crystal clear that the person is not a good partner after all and you have to thanks that whoever girl that your partner is dating now because it will never gonna last long too. They ditch you for a new toy so once the new toy is broken, a replacement would be needed. Is just a tired game...

Everything is a test, you learnt from the bitterness mistake and then once you are heal, you come out strong and fight again. But never ever sink in to the bottom, take it as a challenge in life.

A relationship don't come easily, you had to fight for it, fix the problem and eventually it will last for a very long time. Not runaway from problems and put your ego and dignity behind just to pleased them.

Angie, I'm sure you can do it. It will never gonna be the easy way out but still you have to have faith in this and start believing that everything gonna be okay. It must have been tough now because you are not over your partner and of cause they are an asshole who was blinded by the temptation ahead and gave up on someone who actually truly, loyal to love them. Your partner had lost someone that truly loved them and is their lost.

You had nothing to lose because you gave all your best in this relationship and they just came around stab behind your back and seek for their own happiness regardless that you are hurt in the end.

Start finding yourself, put those broken pieces back together. Go out and you will eventually find someone who will gives you the security, trust, responsible, one who take care of you. You don't have to be so insecure anymore in that previous relationship because it will eats you alive in the end.

I'm glad you stay away from the pain that you have been suffered during those months when you were with your partner. I can see your tears every time when you gave your partner a free pass to hang out w/ the girl and your partner lie to you behind your back and said both of them are just friends. And all you ever did is wipe away your tears and cry yourself to sleep without your partner notice. It shows that your partner is selfish and just concentrate on themselves rather than your sorrows, sadness you been through and felt disgusted and pull away from you.

Enough is enough and you know that, you already gave all of it to your partner. Is just that your partner takes you for granted and that's why falling out of love happened.

You on the other hand is a fool, why would you ever think that player will change? Before you were with S, you know that S already been dating somebody else and you are too stubborn and still jump into that flame and get yourself burned in the end. Is just time for you to wake up now.

Get out and get someone who will treats you right and this time don't ever find a player anymore. A fucking player will suck you dry and spit you alive.

You don't wanna go through those heart break because you are just too fragile to handle it again. xA

The Love That Dies, The Love That Lives

So I guess is just not fair when one of us had move on; maybe out there having some other people but one of us is stuck on that person.

You had lost someone who truly LOVE you but I have lost someone who will never love me anymore. So what's more that I could ask for? No companion anymore, just me walking alone down the street while thinking that maybe you could walk through the pain with me when I need you the most....

Just different now, so different. One used to sparks so bright now sink in the bottom of the ocean like a sinking ship, just going under.

And it will never be rekindle the feeling and love anymore.

Deep inside, I know I still love you and I know I have to let this feeling fade away fast because all I know is that you will never feel the same for me anymore.... *teared 

Part of me, I still wish and hope that you are still part of me, there for me when I fall. I really do...

Somehow, now and then I still remember when I told you my stories and those hard time I have been through, you are always there for me to wipe away my tears and look after me and I do cherish those moment when I'm with you. And I don't know if you remembered but for me is just the memorable thing you ever did to me and I appreciate it much.

Maybe I wouldn't get a chance to tell you this verbally anymore so I'm gonna spill it out here... I... LOVE... YOU still

Sigghh

xA

Masochist

I'm trying to erase you from my memory because thinking of you jumbles up my mind.

I love you too much to even start liking you so lets just let the story kinda end.

I felt tormented inside out, emotional and physically.

xA

Bleed till death

So well said for the above picture.

Everything went down when you brought me to your place and then you left me alone the whole night at your place while you were out.

Perhaps you went over her place without my concerning how worried I am. Waiting for the whole night and finally couldn't take it any longer and call you in the middle of the night like is like 4am in the morning. You lied to me at first said that you were at the office and still refuse to tell where you were the whole damn night.

I guess you don't know how I felt. All you ever though is your own happiness and don't know there are people there care and still worried shit out of you. I have been thinking, did you fuck her all night long while you left me here at your place?

You are such a lier, cheater and a player!!!

Over and out for now. Is just depressing to know. xA